RECENT POSTS • WRITING ARCHIVEBOOKS

You already deserve the things you want

You are worthy because you exist. You are worthy because you are. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the individualistic ideals of the Western world. On our meritocracy, which says that we can have anything we want, as long as we work hard enough for it, as long as we prove we deserve it. When we are raised in a particular framework, we view

Creating safety during sex: The moment of Disconnect & the importance of the PAUSE

All too often, women ignore our own desires during sex because our desires feel un-explainable, too complicated, or not worth taking the time to figure out. Even if we don’t consciously believe it, we’ve often absorbed the narratives that our bodies are complex, annoying, and incorrect. Along with our conditioning around our bodies, we’ve often received societal conditioning to be accommodating and pleasing to others.

My thoughts from the past few weeks: racism, privilege, & shadow

The past few weeks have been heavy. A global pandemic plus the biggest civil rights movement in history is not for the faint of heart; there is so much energy in the air that pretty much everyone I speak to feels more tired than usual, more stressed than usual, more anxious than usual. I feel like we as a planet are all vomiting, are throwing

11 Ways to Increase Your Feminine Energy (and What’s Blocking You From It)

Do you feel like it’s hard for you to drop into your feminine, or like you don’t really know what that means? If so, you aren’t alone. Most women that I talk to feel this way. Our culture rewards masculine energy. We’re encouraged to work hard, get the promotions, sacrifice our pleasure and our needs, sculpt our bodies, and be upfront and direct with what

Why I put my naked body on the internet

Four years ago, I did my first-ever naked photo shoot. I was involved in circus arts at the time. The photos were stunning, but I didn’t post them anywhere (even censored versions). I didn’t want anyone to know I had done a nude shoot, and mostly, I thought people would think I was just looking for attention by putting them up on the Internet. It

5 surprising things that can hold you back from getting what you want

We’re all walking around with past experiences stored in our bodies. These past experiences dictate pretty much everything about your life: the way you see things, the stories you create in your mind, and the actions you do and don’t decide to take. The trouble is, most of us don’t know what we’re holding. If that’s the case, you’re basically letting things other people have

What the life of two sex & relationship coaches is really like under quarantine

Jordan and I started quarantining during the third week of March. The weekend before everyone started staying in their homes, we went out to dinner. “Right, we’re not supposed to do that,” the waiter said, winking, as he held out his hand to shake, and Jordan took it and I didn’t. Two days after that, it was like an entirely different world. My friends had

Doubting Your Relationship? 6 Simple Questions to Ask Yourself

Do you often question whether you’re demanding too much from your partner? Do you wonder if you should be better at loving them the way they already are? Do you spend a lot of time thinking that you just need to work through more of your own stuff, and that they’re teaching you good lessons? Something that can be very, very tricky, particularly for self-aware

Pleasure is your birthright & this is why it matters

Your pleasure matters. Your pleasure has always mattered. Your sex life will never be at its peak. Your capacity for pleasure can always be bigger. And that is one of the biggest gifts of life. The pleasure of women has been demonized for centuries. That’s why it can feel scary to wear whatever you want, to call attention to yourself, to say no to a

The ultimate guide to processing emotions in a healthy way

Have you ever felt so full of emotion that you didn’t know what to do, found yourself repeating the same emotional patterns over and over again, or been frustrated that analyzing your feelings didn’t work for you? If so, it’s not your fault. When most people talk about emotion, they miss the most important piece. And without addressing it, your emotions can never fully shift.