A few weeks ago, I uncovered a pattern I had with Jordan. I would desire to have sex. But instead of naming my desire, I’d often just feel it inside my body and hope that he noticed. I’d think things to myself like, “I just want him to initiate more. To take control. I’ve been obvious enough, he probably doesn’t want to.” Sometimes I’d say
Do not rob yourself of the sensation of naming your true desire Do not squeak it out of your mouth, mumble it, and look away Do not shove it back down into the box of you-can’t-have-this-you-don’t-deserve-this-they’re-going-to-react-this-way Do not send it over text message so you don’t have to witness their response Instead let it bubble up, let it spread throughout your body until you have
– part 1 Day 12 I go out to say my goodbyes Slowly making my rounds. Bye to the rock The rose hips, holding their droplets of water, say hello I ask if they want to talk, since I was headed to the ocean. But they just wanted me to notice their beauty You are very beautiful, I say The rock, rosemary, aster, the
If you have a KNOWING If you know, deep down inside your body, that this is the next right thing And you ignore it That is the biggest disrespect to life. Here she is, offering you Opportunity On a silver platter Saying this is it, this is your next step And you turn. It.
I am devoted to the sunrise To the rays of light that cast themselves over everything, nudging each branch Saying wake up, wake up! I am devoted to the stick bugs Their tiniest waves feeling like a Disney movie I am devoted to the dew drops on rose petals Pouring rain from a leaf onto my tongue I am devoted to the rain
Many years ago, I was with friends of friends and they were talking about a girl who cried during sex. “Can you imagine?” one of them said. “I would never do that.” One of my clients told me yesterday that she cried during sex and asked me if something was wrong with her. CRYING IS A WAY WE RELEASE EMOTION.
Day 1 Her mood changes daily. Some days she is raging, crashing Charging up the shoreline Bigger, taller, demanding. Other moments she is gentle. Continual rhythmic motions Ice cold, in this part of the world Slowness An invitation to enter And cleanse. Some days she is completely still. Resembling something else, almost Her waves
The past few weeks I’ve been getting sudden bursts of sensation within my body. Like a giddiness, a bubbling up of delight. Suddenly, it’ll push at the edges of my skin, behind my eyes, a gentle explosion up through my belly My skin will tingle and I’ll take a breath in and just be like: wow, life It feels
What I want to remember More of my warrior is what is needed My scream, my strength, my not standing for anything less Calling forth his highest version of himself Offering him the earth as a gift. My sensuality, my dancing, purring, growling, stomping, moaning. My full, total, uninhibited expression. Soothing his system with that energy through my
“Like a primitive, shrieking banshee call,” she said. “That’s the energy I want to feel more, from you.” I pretended to feel confused, for a moment. I thought, she’s wrong. That’s not the energy I need. But it wasn’t confusion. It was avoidance. And I could feel the truth in my body. Later, we were asked to