RECENT POSTS • WRITING ARCHIVE

This is what self-pleasure can look like

When you touch yourself, set up the room. Light candles, put on music. Gather oil. Approach your body from a place of curiosity Make it sacred. Make it special. Remember how you learned to do this in a way that was fast, hidden, and unforgivable. Sinful. Remember how you learned your pleasure was a sin. Choose to undo it Breathe into your body. Breathe deeply,

51 real-life examples of how I set boundaries and ask for what I want during sex

When boundaries are spoken about in relation to sex, they’re usually only mentioned in terms of saying “yes” or “no” to being sexual as a whole. But what I’ve discovered is that the more I’ve become empowered around my own sexuality, the more I set boundaries in nuanced ways that I never would have imagined I could ask for before. The purpose of this post

How to stop thinking about your body during sex

If you can’t stop worrying about your body during sex, you’re not alone – most women I’ve spoken to on coaching calls are consumed with thoughts of “What does my body look like in this position? Does my face look awful when I come? Do I smell and taste bad down there?” It might be affecting you so badly that it causes you to not

The way you have been taught to feel is wrong

Once, I was leading a group of women through an emotional expression practice. I demoed for them: screams and growls of anger, moans of sadness, dry heaves of disgust. When I told them it was their turn, many of the women participated, some a bit hesitantly – and two in particular did not participate at all. At the end of the practice, as we were

You are not broken.

You are not broken. Look at the world around you: the dead plants, the cold evenings, the buds just beginning to rise through the frost. The moon, half empty. So. many. people. Endless people, people in their homes with their families and their cookware and their pets and their items that hold memories. I had an appointment today, an appointment at the doctor’s because my

Tell your partner when you self-pleasure. Not because he owns your body, but because you do

Tell your partner when you self-pleasure Not because he owns your body, but because you do.   Touch yourself slowly, deeply, lovingly Have long orgasms, and quick ones Spend hours, spend seconds Soak your sheets.   Say, I’m going to self pleasure in the other room, now Not because I don’t love you but because I love myself, and sometimes I want to remind myself

8 ways to fight better with your partner

I often hear this narrative – even from other relationship coaches – that it’s “normal” to fight with our partners in a way where we feel resentful, notice everything that’s wrong with them, and yell at one another. I feel annoyed by this, because while this might be typical, it’s not useful, and it’s not necessary. Having someone yell at you means their anger is

This one thing is holding you back from feeling free to be who you are

If you do not know deeply, unshakably, that your body belongs to you, you will struggle. If you are not FOR yourself. If you are not in alignment with what your body wants first and foremost. Then you cannot have the life you really want. You will be forever burdened with thoughts of “if only” and “what if.” You will be anxious and unsettled and

How to be the Queen of Sex: 7 ways to get everything you want & drive your partner wild

Want to feel such magnificent pleasure that you feel absolutely unstoppable? Want to scream incredibly loudly and not care if your neighbors hear you? Want your boyfriend to feel like he can’t keep his hands off of you and not even know why – even years into your relationship? Want your sex life to only get better over time? Want to desire sex wayyy more

There is wisdom in your anger – this is how you process it

There is wisdom in your anger. We get taught not to acknowledge anger, not to express it. We grow up hearing, “Don’t get angry, it’s unattractive. Be nice, be quiet, be accommodating. Calm down, you’re overreacting.” We hear about “anger management.” We learn that anger is a thing to be controlled, softened, dissipated. And then on top of that, many mindfulness communities teach that feeling