RECENT POSTS • WRITING ARCHIVEBOOKS

Healthy relationships & my relationship with my dad

I have always had really healthy relationships. I had three boyfriends from the ages of 20-26. All of these men really saw the innate essence of me and appreciated it to the extent that they could at the time. Really to the extent that I could allow myself to open and be seen by them, if I’m being really honest. They mirrored the amount that

Self-sacrifice is not love

I grew up with a model of love called “sacrifice yourself for somebody else.” Love meant abandoning one’s own needs in order to meet the perceived needs of others. But what this creates is the inability to love your own self deeply. And it’s actually not love. Love does not require abandoning what is true in order to make somebody feel better. The truth is

Older men are not allowed to wake up

This may not fit the popular narrative, but older men are some of the most dramatically underserved parts of our population. I see this pattern often where a man has been very successful in his career. And then he reaches a point where he realizes there must be something more. He realizes he actually isn’t that happy in his marriage/dating life. That his work was

Your partner is not the one who needs to do their work

It is never your partner who just needs to do their work. It is a big red flag for me when I hear someone say, “My partner does xyz, and they just need to change.” The partner you attract is always a reflection of you. Something in you is always mirroring back this part of them. I can already hear people saying “but what about

Leaning In While Fighting and the Urge to Run Away

Occasionally, when Jordan and I are fighting, I have the urge to go sleep on the living room floor. It always happens during a fight when my ego is especially wounded, where something he said touched something really deep And a part of me wants to win, to make him hurt too, to “show him,” and to sleep in the other room. Or if it

Hotel room transmission part 1: feeling the truth, body love, & full desire

I was supposed to arrive here last night. I had booked three nights. At a luxury hotel, quite close to my apartment in Vancouver. Jordan and I have been doing this during Covid to have space from one another. There is much to say about the benefits of solo hotel stays; I might make a video about that tomorrow. I was supposed to check in

When menstrual blood on my face went viral on the internet

Two years ago, this photo went very, very, very viral on the internet. I had been taking photos with my blood on my face every month for almost a year. The first one was just for fun, to encourage people to connect more with their menstrual blood. And then when people were soo bothered by it (I don’t know why I was shocked by this,

The magic of a slow blowjob

Let me tell you about the sweetness Of soft, nourishing, and tender love Of climbing into bed In early evening, just after sunset And winding skin together Of whispers about the future Excitement Of climbing on top, body pressed against body Holding his gaze And saying you are the best man I know.   Let me tell you about the magic of a slow blowjob.

You Don’t “Have” Anxiety

You don’t “have” anxiety. Anxiety is something that you *feel* because of past experiences in your life and the way you learned to respond. It also tends to be the result of built-up stored emotion. Anxiety is not something that is happening to you. It is not attached to you like a thing you cannot control. The way we speak about things matters. The first

10 Things I’ve Learned About Money That May Surprise, Disgust, & Delight You

In 2019, I made a conscious decision to start working on the beliefs I held around money. The first year of my business had been super inconsistent. I had $0 months and $6k months, and I never knew which one would happen. I had money, but I was always stressed about it. I wouldn’t look at my credit card statement or my bank account balance