RECENT POSTS • WRITING ARCHIVEBOOKS

7 things to do if you need space from your partner during quarantine

Space is a non-negotiable, essential need for me. I came across an article recently about how distance is the little-known sixth love language; it resonated with me. Jordan will typically leave our apartment for 5-10 hours during the day, as many times a month as needed, whenever I feel cagey. When we made our love lists, filled with ways to love one another better, giving

the crows, unconcerned, will be happy to eat our bodies when they fall

Queen of the underworld She ate pomegranate, took the darkness inside her She became it   The crows, unconcerned will be happy to eat our bodies when they fall   The earth is responding She is hitting reply to the rape She is posting about the amount of destruction   She is not angry, just giving back equal energy   Humans they think they are

Finding pleasure in the time of pandemic (and crisis in general)

Eight years ago, my brother was in the ICU with a traumatic brain injury, in a coma. No one knew whether he’d wake up or die. My entire world was flipped upside down. My days were filled with tears, I was constantly anxious, and I didn’t know how to calm my nervous system. In addition to my pervasive anxiety, though, I found myself reaching for

you’re drowning in the news (covid-19)

You’re drowning in the news It sucks you in, like quicksand but you chose it   maybe This piece of you was already here Waiting, underneath the surface   the part of you that knows the earth is dying, humans are already dying   It jumps at the opportunity to scream apocalypse Order an emergency kit Order food for thirty days   Just in case,

9 things you must understand to stop letting doubt and fear run your life

If you struggle to trust yourself completely and make decisions in your own life, you’ll rarely get what you want – and even if you do, you’ll still doubt that you deserve to receive it. This is hard, because it will paralyze you. You’ll find that you end up living a life that’s on everyone else’s terms. You might even follow the rules for so

This is what self-pleasure can look like

When you touch yourself, set up the room. Light candles, put on music. Gather oil. Approach your body from a place of curiosity Make it sacred. Make it special. Remember how you learned to do this in a way that was fast, hidden, and unforgivable. Sinful. Remember how you learned your pleasure was a sin. Choose to undo it Breathe into your body. Breathe deeply,

51 real-life examples of how I set boundaries and ask for what I want during sex

When boundaries are spoken about in relation to sex, they’re usually only mentioned in terms of saying “yes” or “no” to being sexual as a whole. But what I’ve discovered is that the more I’ve become empowered around my own sexuality, the more I set boundaries in nuanced ways that I never would have imagined I could ask for before. The purpose of this post

How to stop thinking about your body during sex

If you can’t stop worrying about your body during sex, you’re not alone – most women I’ve spoken to on coaching calls are consumed with thoughts of “What does my body look like in this position? Does my face look awful when I come? Do I smell and taste bad down there?” It might be affecting you so badly that it causes you to not

The way you have been taught to feel is wrong

Once, I was leading a group of women through an emotional expression practice. I demoed for them: screams and growls of anger, moans of sadness, dry heaves of disgust. When I told them it was their turn, many of the women participated, some a bit hesitantly – and two in particular did not participate at all. At the end of the practice, as we were

You are not broken.

You are not broken. Look at the world around you: the dead plants, the cold evenings, the buds just beginning to rise through the frost. The moon, half empty. So. many. people. Endless people, people in their homes with their families and their cookware and their pets and their items that hold memories. I had an appointment today, an appointment at the doctor’s because my