Ten years later

– if you are newer to me and aren’t familiar with this part of my journey, it might help to read last year’s post (click on this, it doesn’t look clickable but it is) before reading this. Today has been 10 years. I find myself, for the first time, not that interested in writing. Every year for ten years on this day I have made

Everything to do with my food journey & weight gain in chronological order

this photo was taken in June. Hi loves! My food journey has turned into something bigger than I could ever have imagined (honestly, I thought I was just going to write the first article and be done with it, lol – but that has not been the case!) And I have been updating about it wherever I’ve felt like it – that means there are

I have never owned shorts like this in my life

The video that went along with this is here. I have never ever owned shorts like this in my life. ⁣ ⁣ I had Rules. ⁣ About what looked good on me. ⁣ ⁣ Light colored solid leggings were out. They showed every ounce of cellulite. ⁣ No matter how pretty I thought the colors were they were a No. ⁣ ⁣ Spandex shorts of

You can have the Big Lips

You can have the ⁣ Big Lips⁣ Taut starving⁣ Belly⁣ Shrinking back toward your⁣ Spine ⁣ Get off on the ⁣ Indentations⁣ Of your skin toward the ⁣ Bone⁣ The way it⁣ Stretches⁣ over your hips⁣ You can wax your pussy⁣ Bare⁣ Fill your breasts with plastic⁣ Bags⁣ Inject your brows⁣ To make them⁣ Smooth⁣ Paste on⁣ Eyelashes ⁣ Eat ⁣ Less ⁣ You can

Here are some hints you have disordered eating

Here are some hints you have disordered eating:⁣ ⁣ You would choose to *not eat* a meal over eating McDonald’s ⁣ ⁣ You think some foods are not real food⁣ ⁣ You feel superior for your way of eating ⁣ ⁣ You feel good about yourself for not eating certain food groups⁣ ⁣ You are scared of certain food groups⁣ ⁣ You think eating at

The journey of eating more has been long & slow

In August of 2020 I had a call with a woman who told me I needed to eat. I was telling her about this thing that I did. How I would wait many hours to eat breakfast growing grumpier by the second. How I would feel annoyed at my body for being hungry. How it would happen all over again at lunch and I hated

Something I love about Jordan is the way he will compliment other women

Something I love about Jordan is the way he will compliment other women ⁣ I know he does it when I’m not there but he also does it when I am. ⁣ ⁣ He will tell them how they have the most amazing eyes⁣ How he likes their eyebrows ⁣ Or their makeup⁣ Or their outfit⁣ Or their presence ⁣ ⁣ He will ask about

I have often felt like I’ve had to apologize for the size that I am

I have often felt like I’ve had to apologize for the size that I am. ⁣ ⁣ For the way that my entrance into people’s lives seems to shake them up, show them things they would rather not have seen. ⁣ ⁣ I literally sometimes want to be like “I am sorry that you know me because you didn’t choose this” ⁣ Though I have

I am often suspicious when other people tell me they “have” to do something

I am often suspicious when people tell me they “have to” do something. ⁣ ⁣ Because it is rare that something has to be done. ⁣ ⁣ But I have work⁣ But I don’t have enough money ⁣ But this person needs my response⁣ But I said I would⁣ ⁣ If you had a contagious illness and couldn’t get out of bed then what would

The first time I finally felt full – crying while eating a burger

Here is the link to the video this post is referencing. On Sunday after a long day at the spa we went to get burgers. ⁣ ⁣ I looked at the menu. ⁣ ⁣ Last time we were at this place I built my own burger with only my approved ingredients and I got a lettuce bun. ⁣ Lettuce buns are so sad I just