The past few weeks I’ve been getting sudden bursts of sensation within my body. ⁣

Like a giddiness, a bubbling up of delight. ⁣

Suddenly, it’ll push at the edges of my skin, behind my eyes, a gentle explosion up through my belly⁣

My skin will tingle and I’ll take a breath in and just be like: wow, life⁣

It feels like I am pushing at the edges of the amount I can receive, at the amount of pleasure I can hold. In the best way. ⁣

Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I just jump up with excitement and Jordan will look at me like what is it and I’m like “I’m just so HAPPY.”⁣

Right as I was typing that an eagle swooped around, so close to my window. ⁣

Last year this sensation happened less frequently and it was always accompanied by a sense of fear. ⁣

Like oh my god, everything has never felt this magical and also oh no, what if it gets taken away. ⁣

So I’d try to block it, almost. Not allow it fully in. ⁣

That fear comes so much more rarely now. ⁣

Because what’s happening more and more is that I’m realizing it couldn’t be taken away. ⁣

It doesn’t come from Jordan. It doesn’t come from money. It doesn’t come from people. ⁣

It comes from me opening to life. ⁣

To what’s around me. ⁣

From being willing to feel all sensations fully. ⁣

It’s been happening almost every day, now, this feeling. ⁣

And I’m just letting it all in. ⁣


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