— I wrote this poem on August 9th when I was in the depths of a huge energetic shift, and just found it in the notes on my phone this morning. Wanted to share with you.

 

Rest came for me this evening

It did not warn me

It did not even knock on the door.

It did not give me time to plan, to let anyone

know in advance

It simply pulled me down with it

To meet it on its level

And it commanded, Stay

And I protested

I said what about my things

What about momentum

What about the things that must get done

And Rest said, do you think you know better

than the natural state of things?

And I kicked and whined and moaned

But I listened

I found my womb

Throbbing with the pulse of life

In charge, in full force at being listened to,

for once

And my heart said, but people! And my mind

said, but writing! And my womb said, No

And she seemed very adamant

So certain that I was even terrified of her

So certain that I listened

And I did Nothing

Even while my mind groaned, we already did

nothing last year. We already had a winter

Now we are supposed to have an

everlasting summer

And my womb said no

There is something you are missing, here

Something you have been ignoring

Something you are not paying enough

attention to

And I will cause chaos until you listen

So we can fight, and I will win

Or you can listen now

 

So I listened

 

And my womb told me some secrets

She said you know things

You are afraid to admit you know

You have things to say

You are afraid to say them

Stop running from yourself

Let the earth move through you

 

And I felt like I was dying

Parts of me shrieking on their way out

And I rested

Oh, I rested.

 

He said I’m here now

My womb only listened to him

I could only feel my womb

 

Put me with the dead things

Where leaves whisper

Where the air pulls at my clothing

Where a decapitated stump is

Like a tomb into the earth

 

I want to know the real things

How quiet I can become if

I am enclosed in branches

 

As I sit on the stump I can feel my pussy

opening. Without a reason, without

question. My cervix, connecting to the portal

into earth.

I ask: what am I doing here?

It says: you are meant to be a portal

How do I learn

We will teach you

They say, and all branches bow to me at

once

As I approach the land, it says

Turn off your music

So I do. I wrap my headphones around, and I

listen

Come back every day, they say

Every day?

They nod

 

I thought I’d go my whole life without really

having to admit that I speak to trees

They speak to me

I don’t know, they just always have

They’d speak to you too, if you knew how to

listen

 

My womb is happy

 

If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:

maybe one day I will tell my children

the crows, unconcerned, will be happy to eat our bodies when they fall

a festering rebirth

the earth is cleaning house

there is only dissent

 

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