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Sex coach Demetra Nyx talks about how you can bring your sex life to its fullest potential, how to be your entire self without shame, and how masculinity and femininity are shifting in modern times. 

 

Ep15: Threesomes and Group Sex with Ellecia Paine

June 3, 2019

 
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Details: “I had a very solid stance that I don’t share, and that I am very straight… I found out that I was wrong.” - Ellecia Paine.

Everything you ever wanted to know about group sex, threesomes, orgies, and more - sex coach Ellecia and I discuss her own journey from monogamy into non-monogamy, what to do about jealousy, the secret tip for the best blow jobs ever, what options are available to non-monogamous people (hint: they are endless!), tips for communicating with your partner(s), and safe sex.

Notes: Ellecia Paine is a Sex, Love, and Relationship coach with a passion for helping people get and stay deeply connected while exploring non-monogamy. Her passion lies in inspiring people to embrace their truths and in promoting authentic pleasure-filled living. Ellecia has been living a happy, fullfilling non-monogamous life for over five years and as a self proclaimed Goddess Slut she is excited to share her experiences and insights with you.

Connect with Ellecia at www.elleciapaine.com or on Instagram @elleciapaine.

Books recommended:

The Ethical Slut

Ep14: Power & Control in Relationships (and the Inevitable Collapse of Patriarchy and Capitalism) with Adriene Cobcroft

May 28, 2019

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Details: In this episode, psychotherapist and sex coach Adrienne Cobcroft and I discuss so many things that I decided just to put it in a list for you:

  • power and control in relationships

  • how this shows up in ALL relationships, not just unhealthy ones

  • why do people want power?

  • how these dynamics show up in childhood

  • criticism as power

  • setting boundaries in relationships

  • patriarchy

  • what defines power in our culture

  • fear around the system collapsing

  • how the world is shifting because of climate change

  • gardening, and other self-sustaining activities

  • and way way more!

Notes: Addy is a relationship counsellor, group facilitator and sex, love & relationships coach. She is passionate about supporting people to experience extraordinary thriving lives.She is a psychotherapist and sex, love and relationship coach who has a broad range of experience working in the fields of mental health, relationships, trauma, addiction, family violence, behaviour change, wellbeing and personal empowerment. Find Addy at www.adrienecobcroft.com or Facebook: @adrienecobcroft and Instagram: adrienecobcroft

Things mentioned in this episode:

The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza

Revolution by Russell Brand

Emergent Strategy and Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown

Power and Control Wheel

Equality Wheel

Nonviolent communication

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

Center for Clinical Interventions

Ep13: Epic Sex at 62: Sex as We Age & in Long-term Relationships with Belinda Wiley

May 1, 2019

 
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Details: This episode is relevant to anyone in a long-term relationship (of any age!), but will be especially helpful for people over 40.

Belinda Wiley and I talk about her sex life at 62, planning sex, feeling the duty to have sex, women not knowing or caring about their pleasure, the belief that our bodies stop working as we get older, practices you can do with your partner, feeling appreciated, the importance of "being from a good family" and shame around sex when she grew up, never discussing her own body, penis and pussy massage, orgasm not being the goal..... and way, way more!

Notes: Belinda Wiley is a sex and relationship coach who believes everyone deserves pleasure in their life.  She works with women who want to feel alive sexually and reminds them that playfulness and sensuality are within them, and that self-pleasure deeply empowers women so they can better navigate loving sex with their partners.

Belinda has been married for 35 years to the same man. Since training as a Coach she has discovered her true authentic sexual self which she felt had gotten lost over the years. And her partnership has transformed into one of loving, conscious, sexual practices with much fun and laughter. Belinda has been published in Verve Magazine and recently gave a talk in NZ called "The Power of Pleasure."

Belinda does a Facebook Live Video every Tuesday 6pm NZT (Monday 10pm PST) that anyone can view, and her email is belindawileycoach@gmail.com

The link to her article is here: https://www.vervemagazine.co.nz/are-you-a-sexy-sexagenarian/?

ps! If you’d rather watch in video form, you can do so for this episode here.

 

Ep12: Q&A with Demetra - Everything you ever wanted to know about sex and life!

April 21, 2019

 
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Details: I asked you on social media everything you wanted to know about sex - and you answered! To make it easier for listeners, I’ve listed the questions so you can either listen to the entire thing or go to a specific question. This episode is just me, unedited :)

3:50 – How do you avoid feeling suffocated when everyone around you is supportive of things that are against what you believe in?

10:07 – I don’t feel satisfied when I masturbate anymore, am I doing it too often? How can I make it better?

15:50 – What creative things can me and my partner do if sex is physically painful for me?

24:45 – Is anal sex actually pleasurable for women?

26:33 – What makes sex best?

27:44 – Is there anything wrong if my love can only come when he does it himself 

31:42 – Tips for orgasming vaginally?

40:42 – I can only orgasm when stimulating my clit myself, how do I change this?

46:03 – How can I deepen into pleasure and hold it without releasing it too quickly?

51:03 – Can you talk about womb healing?

1:02:33 – Tips for an inconsistent period and low libido?

1:14:12 – Do you have sex on your period?

1:16:07 – Is it really true that everyone is capable of multiple orgasms?

1:19:23 – I hardly feel any pleasure from sex. It’s hot that he’s inside me, but I feel nothing

1:22:20 – Can you talk about the concept of virginity?

1:26:28 – I’m a closet gay and a closet female. How can I come out?

1:31:19 – What do I do if I can only have sex for 5 minutes and then I come?

1:32:50 – Why can’t my girlfriend orgasm?

Ep11: How Archetypes & Stories Influence our Lives with Sasha Cueto

April 7, 2019

 
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Details: Archetypes matter because the stories we hold are forming the way we see the world and the way we live our entire lives. There is literally nothing more important.

We talk about so many things in this episode that I decided to just list some of them for you instead of writing a paragraph:

  • How archetypes are formed in society

  • How to welcome and work with all aspects of ourselves

  • Reconnecting with our sexual energy

  • How our culture cuts out essential parts of stories

  • Myths giving us a roadmap for ourselves

  • Star Wars and King Arthur

  • Religion, the history of Christianity and how it impacts us

  • Climate change

  • Family wounding, why it happens and how we heal it

  • Repeating patterns and stories in our lives

Sasha also tells some really beautiful stories – I highly recommend this episode :)

Notes: Sasha Cueto is a Soulful Sex and Empowerment Coach. She has been a student of the Mysteries ever since she was 12 years old, dedicating her life to becoming a priestess in one of the most demanding spiritual schools she ever assisted, and getting to know many traditions, tools, and teachers ever since. She has learned tools that range from archetypal study, dreamwork, and meditation, to bodywork, breathwork, and Taoist practices. 

Sasha discovered the incredible power of sexual energy when she had her first spontaneous Kundalini Awakening. She studied at the Tantric School of Integrated Sexuality where she graduated as a Sex Coach, with a major in both Female Sexuality and Jade Egg.

Now, she helps women heal their connection to their body and soul, using pleasure as a tool. You can follow Sasha at @sasha_cueto or visit her website at www.sasha-cueto.com.

Ep10: Adventure Therapy & Finding Power in Ourselves with Bridget Bloom

March 25, 2019

 
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Details: In this episode, Bridget Bloom and I talk about what adventure therapy is, what adventure does for our brains, her own life journey through a traumatic brain injury, the ways different cultures view adventure, and more. We also discuss how making ourselves uncomfortable in a safe environment can help us rewrite our own stories and how we can bring this sense of adventure into our everyday lives. Ultimately, this episode is about finding a sense of power in ourselves.

Notes: Bridget Bloom is an Adventure Therapist and Sex, love and life coach. She will inspire you to reignite your magic and explore the edges of the earth and the depths of your soul. She specialises in bringing people home to their bodies, their power and the wholeness of their spirit, helping them to power-charge their lives with pleasure and purpose. Her Instagram is @adventuresofawildchild and her website is www.bridgetobloom.com.

The link to the documentary of Bridget skiing across Greenland is here.

Ep09: Male Sexuality & Overcoming Resentment Toward Women with Ryan Thomas

March 18, 2019

 
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Details: In this episode, I talk to Ryan Thomas about his journey from resenting women and being in the military to becoming a sex & relationship coach for men. Ryan spent 11 years in the Canadian military, which was where he mostly learned about sex and masculinity. We talk about his sexual experiences that were based on insecurity, and how they led him to become involved in conversational hypnosis and the pick-up artist community, which largely taught him about manipulating women (you can even hear him give me an example of what this type of communication sounds like). Disliking the manipulation, he left those communities and continued on a deeper journey of self-growth to understand how to have better sex, intimacy and relationships, which resulted in him starting his own business, The Intimate Lifestyle. He also gives a great description of what it feels like for men to have non-ejaculatory orgasms, we talk about sex parties and the nature of humanity... so many topics! I think this conversation will be interesting for everyone.

Notes:

Ryan made a surprisingly uncommon career transition. He transitioned out of the army as Captain, after an 11-year career. Now, he is a Sex and Relationship Coach for men.

He helps men become fully expressed in who they are sexually and emotionally so they can have healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.

As a coach, he comes with a mixed bag of experience. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Space Science, from the Royal Military College as well as a decade long training and development in leadership in the military. He’s a Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and certified hypnotherapist. And for the last 8 years, he’s taken innumerable workshops and training around meditation, sexuality, group therapy, and conscious relationships.

Ryan has interviewed over 100 sex and relationship experts, and currently has numerous articles, videos, and over 130 available podcast episodes to help men get the kind of sex life and relationship they deserve.

His website is www.theintimatelifestyle.com

Ep08: Loving Menstrual Blood with Marisha Anana

March 10, 2019

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Details: In this episode, my friend Marisha and I discuss connecting with our menstrual cycles. We talk about our journeys with our own periods, the way my period face masks went viral, how our world demonizes the feminine, menstrual history, our cycles being like the seasons, drinking menstrual blood, how you can begin loving your period if you don't yet, and so much more.

Notes: Marisha is a soul coach supporting women into their own personal reclamation of the power inherent in their body & the ability to birth the life of their desires. She merges Tantric philosophy, ancestral medicine & embodiment coaching into courses & healing journeys to provide potent spaces of transformation. Her life has taken her across the spectrums of life. From a broken childhood, spending her early twenties as an escort, being reborn on a spiritual path and walking a journey of weaving her whole self together. She's been there, she is there, and she'll go there with you. You can follow her on IG @houseofthefemininearts or visit her website at hedera.house.

Marisha's free ebook

The article I reference

Ep07: Masculinity, Orgasmic Meditation, & Surrender with Kianga Ford

March 3, 2019

 
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Details: I had a hard time naming this conversation because it really encompasses everything - Kianga and I talk about all of the above plus sexual energy, sleeping in the jungle to figure out life, asking for what you want during sex, partner dance, feminine surrender, men’s groups, three stages of sexuality, and the necessity of polarity in relationships.

Notes: Kianga Ford helps men live their most empowered lives by understanding how masculinity fits into these changing times and embracing their unique version of it. She is the Founder and Lead Coach of Infinite Man Coaching.

In one-on-one coaching and group programs, she supports men in integrating passion, purpose, connection, and leadership to have the careers, finances, and relationships they want. Her live retreats and events create an experiential playing field for men and the women who love them to come to a deeper understanding of how to identify and fulfill their mutual needs. She brings more than 15 years experience teaching cultural studies, fine art, and individualized research at the university level to bear on her experiential and online courses.

She holds an MA/PhD (ABD) and an MFA from the foremost programs in these fields. She is equally influenced by her years of personal transformation work and study. She is a certified Orgasmic Meditation trainer and desire-based life coach. She currently hosts local programs in the Central Florida area and works with clients around the world. For more information, please send an inquiry to info@infinitemancoaching.com.

Ep:06: All About Anal with Sara Deanne & Ellecia Paine

February 25, 2019

 
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Details: This episode contains everything you ever wanted to know about anal play! I talk to fellow sex coaches Sara and Ellecia about tips, toys, and more for anal sex. This will be a great episode if you've never had anal before and are interested in trying it, if you've tried it but didn't like it, or if you're a guy interested in trying it yourself. It's a super giggly episode and highly entertaining.

Notes:

Sara Deanne is a love, sexuality, and relationship coach based in Victoria, B.C., Canada. She believes that a woman's truest power comes from connection to her own body and personal pleasure. She is also passionate about helping couples to discover their greatest potential, whether they are newly in partnership or have been growing together for years. Sara is a masterful space holder for whatever you're most struggling with and whatever you most desire. You can follow her on Instagram @love.sara.deanne or contact her at lovesaradeanne@gmail.com.

Ellecia Paine is a Sex, Love, and Relationship coach with a passion for helping people get and stay deeply connected while exploring non-monogamy. Her passion lies in inspiring people to embrace their truths and in promoting authentic pleasure-filled living. Ellecia has been living a happy, fullfilling non-monogamous life for over five years and as a self proclaimed Goddess Slut she is excited to share her experiences and insights with you.

Connect with Ellecia at www.elleciapaine.com or on Instagram @elleciapaine.

Tantric Massage & Being an Incredible Lover with Kristin Knight

February 11, 2019

 
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Details: What is tantric massage? It's basically a massage for your genitals that brings you deeper into your body, releases stuck emotions, and allows you to have more incredible sex. But don't think this episode is only intriguing if you want to get a massage - Kristin Knight and I dive deep into the shame men carry around sex, why we love when men are connected to their bodies, and we discuss her 5 tips for bringing your lover into states of ecstatic pleasure.

Notes:

Kristin Knight is a Sexual Empowerment Coach, Tantra Practitioner & Bodyworker, Temple Priestess, and Yoga Teacher. You can view her website at www.kristincknight.com, or follow her Instagram account at @the_sex_connection!

Ep04: Mastering Male Sexuality with Jordan Gray

February 4, 2019

 
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Summary: Everything you want to know about male sexuality

Details: Jordan Gray has been a Sex and Relationship coach for the past decade. He writes articles on his blog, www.jordangrayconsulting.com, about a wide range of topics. He also writes about mental health, physical health, and relationships. He is the author of more than 6 different books, at least 5 of them having reached #1 best-selling in their category on Amazon. His writing has reached over 40 million people from around the world, and he regularly reaches over a million people on his blog, monthly.

In this episode, we discuss Jordan's entire journey through his sexuality and masculinity - including topics like masturbation, BDSM, anal sex for men, masculinity, male friendships, and more. This is a super fun episode and I'm so excited to share it with you!

Notes:

Jordan’s website: www.jordangrayconsulting.com

References we make in this episode:

Esther Perel’s The Masculinity Paradox

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

The Multi-Orgasmic Man by Mantak Chia

Come As You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski

Ep03: Boundaries, Consent, & #metoo with Natalie Baack

January 28, 2019

 
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Summary: Helpful info for men to learn how to navigate #metoo and become a part of the solution

Details: In this episode, I talk to coach Natalie Baack about boundaries, consent, and #metoo. We discuss how men may contribute to the problem without realizing it, and we provide helpful solutions. This is a great episode for any guy wanting to learn a little more about how to navigate relationships with women when dealing with trauma, boundaries, and consent..

CW: sexual assault - not super intense or detailed, but we do discuss it happening to us

Notes:

Resources we discuss in this episode:

- Sex Education on Netflix

- Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent

- Nonviolent communication (cnvc.org)

- The 4 Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz

- Local men’s groups

To follow Natalie, go to her website www.permissionto.be

Ep02: What Does Working on Your Sexuality Mean? with Brooke Hayes

January 21, 2019

Summary: Demetra and Brooke talk about what is possible for men working on their sexuality, the human brain, gourmet sex, and more.

Details: In this episode, I talk to my friend (and fellow men's sex coach) Brooke Hayes to give you an overview of this field. We discuss men being connected to their bodies, what is possible for men sexually (multiple orgasms & more!), and we define some terms I'll use a lot in future episodes. This is a great episode for someone who has no prior experience with this type of work.

Notes: To receive your free audio and practice about being the best lover possible in the bedroom, go to www.demetranyx.com.

To contact Brooke, email brookehayeshealing@gmail.com.

The podcast episode I mention when discussing studies done on the human brain was The Ezra Klein Show, Episode 174 (“Will Storr on Why You Are Not Yourself"). I got a detail incorrect when I spoke - the treatment for epilepsy at the time was to cut the brain, the brains weren’t cut for the study.

Ep01: Podcast Trailer

November 15, 2018