My blood came today. Eighteen days late.
I did not think I was pregnant. My body said: relax.
Maybe it was a combination of sickness and antibiotics and herbs and late ovulation.
Maybe it was that my body wanted to bleed with the full moon instead.
For a year I have bled exactly with the new moon. They say that means nurturance.
I wonder if it is a coincidence that I will bleed with the full moon just as I am beginning to create my business, this entire year’s worth of culmination, seven year’s worth of wisdom into one thing. Full moon is creativity, power.
Today I sat on the ground and bled into the earth. In a dark red, velvet skirt. The clouds, the forest blowing wildly around me.
It is this connection with nature that I know to be true most deeply. That the trees have me. That we are of each other.
I MISSED bleeding. I didn’t realize how accustomed I had become to my cycle, to knowing my moods and my rhythms, until I was thrown off.
My body was deeply missing this feeling of dreamy connectedness, this time of retreat. It was weird not to have it.
My blood is magic. It is worth being celebrated. The wisdom of our wombs was taken from womxn a long time ago. I’ve taken mine back.
Five years ago in the fall I was throwing up black. The trees did this same thing except it was raining. Today it felt like the completion of a cycle.
I don’t know what that means yet, exactly; but it means something.
Today I wonder how you connect to the inner part of you that knows. That knows you’re meant for more, to feel more, to be more, that this isn’t all there is for you.
I have followed that part of me always and that has made all the difference.