I never had good relationships with women.
I changed my best friend every year. My friendships were based around how we related to boys, and getting boys to like us, and not liking all the other girls.
As an adult, I got to avoid deeper friendships with women because I changed locations so many times.
I changed schools and I traveled around the world and I never lived in a place for longer than a year.
I was being a digital nomad! My life was awesome!
Except I completely lacked a sense of community and of true friendship.
Last year, I was forced to face all my friendship wounds head-on. I was suddenly in a group of 250 women who were all committed to loving and supporting one another.
What?! I did not believe this at all. I did not trust them.
I was with 40 of them in the jungles of Mexico and I realized how much I believed that I was either too much or not enough for everyone.
I had to say this out loud to the entire group. “I am afraid I am too much and not enough and that in groups everybody forms close friendships except for me and I am always on the outside. And that nobody actually likes me and wants to be close to me.”
And everyone said…….. nope, not true
Of course some women had stories about me – I was intimidating, or whatever – but they came to me and owned that those were their stories. And I got to face my stories about them.
Now I have SO MANY women I can call and tell my deepest fears to. And I deepened my pre-existing friendships.
It’s still new for me – to be able to meet even new women now and not feel super guarded. To feel completely open with strangers. These are my wounds. They are not scary anymore.
The only way we work through our wounds around women is by being vulnerable in groups of women all committed to doing their work. Women committed to opening up and to supporting one another.
Hearing each other’s stories. Platonic touch – cuddles, hair playing. Loving one another.
How will you add this to your life?