I went through a breakup last summer. We had been dating for two and a half years, and had been best friends for eight. We traveled the world together and had finally settled in California. He was a very significant part of my life, and I loved him deeply. We broke up in the beginning of June … and by the end of the month
At the end of my last relationship, I felt stuck. My body was already grieving. I had been crying for days, weeks. I couldn’t understand why I had such a sinking feeling in my stomach when mentally, I still felt unclear about it all. I really loved him. We were finally having the conversations I wished we had been having the entire time: conversations full
maybe one day I will tell my children about days when I took baths full of water when I ran an online business maybe I will tell them about flavors evoked through cooking elaborate meals spices from the world around while I watch a candle flicker on their faces maybe I will tell them the way flowers used to bloom the way
A month ago, I decided to only do the things that would make me happiest, all the time. I decided to give myself everything I wanted for an entire month. I spent way more money than I ever have. I ordered food delivered to my door every single day. I went to my favorite coffee shop almost every day. I said “no” to
I’ve been strengthening this muscle for a long time, of being uncomfortable and taking risks. When I went to 4 different universities and quit all of them. When I traveled the world by myself. When I started a business and sold it at 22. When I stopped wearing makeup and learned to love my body. When I left “good enough” relationships. It’s
16 beliefs I have now that make my life way more fun: – That my neighbors overhearing me orgasm is me giving them a huge invaluable gift – That people seeing me cry is also an invaluable gift – That all men are wonderful and want to help me – That the more pleasure I experience the more money I
“Don’t get your hopes up” is the worst advice ever It’s basically saying: lower your joy. It’s a great way to learn to do everything from a place of fear. Fear that it won’t work out… fear that you won’t get what you want… fear that the world is actually just terrible after all, and so are you.
Something that I’ve done ever since I was little was run to nature whenever I felt sad. Usually I sit on a rock, or at the base of a tree, or near water (or if I get really lucky like today, all three at once). We talk to one another but not in a way that feels like humans speaking. It
I started crying and the sky started pouring in the darkness I opened up my entire heart. I said, these are all the ways you trigger me. I said, these are all the ways men have hurt me, have disappointed me. These are the ways I haven’t fully let people in, ever. These are the secrets I haven’t told anyone.
I never had good relationships with women. I changed my best friend every year. My friendships were based around how we related to boys, and getting boys to like us, and not liking all the other girls. As an adult, I got to avoid deeper friendships with women because I changed locations so many times. I changed schools and I traveled around the world