Trusting Life

Having it all the way, writing the future, & my current life

There is this piece I go back to sometimes, that I wrote in February of 2021. The paragraph where it says: “What I desire most right now is to grow my own food on land. To eat eggs from chickens that I know. To surround my own home in flowers and lace and soft things. To drink a lot of tea. To have a bird

The academics & the scientists & the deeper magic of life

The problem with academics through my lens is that being an academic becomes a Very Important Identity.  In the world of academia, academia is very important.  Most academics learn they are Great and Smart and Hard-working people.  And they learn to conform to a rigid set of structures and rules.  They write the way they are told.  They learn to think the way they are

Reflections on hiring help & pre-conception time

Reflections on hiring a house assistant: Hiring someone to come support our home is the best thing I have ever done.  I had so many judgments. There’s only me and Jordan, we don’t even have kids, it’s not like I’m working 8 hours a day, we already have cleaners, etc etc etc.  But two days a week we have this wonderful woman come for 4-5

Why I can’t tell you what I do

“What do you do” is a hard question for me to answer because I don’t fix broken people.  Nobody comes to me with a problem that needs to be solved.  Not really, even if they think they do.  They quickly discover that the thing in them that is pulling them to me, is the only reason they are here.  It doesn’t matter what they want. 

How I made $50k in one day

It was back in the end of 2018, just a few weeks after starting this business… Someone I knew was talking to me about Bitcoin, and trying to explain cryptocurrency to me My brain had absolutely no understanding really of what he was talking about. I had heard people mention crypto here and there before, but I was of the understanding that it had already

The mandates ended in BC today

Today the mandates ended in BC.  For 7 months we have not been able to go to restaurants, movie theaters, gatherings, or generally participate in most of enjoyable society.  This was a form of pressure and for a lot of people it worked.  It would never work for us.  I would never abandon my knowing for pleasure.  I would never abandon the truth of my

I can just let this in, everything I’ve ever wanted

Today I had 7 poop buckets to take out, in the rain.  It was my turn but we were post-wedding and then sick and it just hadn’t happened yet.  Jordan was on a call and I thought, well, so what if it’s raining. We leave tomorrow.  I could leave them but I’ll still have to take care of them when we return.  So I went,

Imperfect ritual

The other day I sat at the top of a bank, overlooking the ocean. I had thought as I left the house that I would walk to the ocean and I would bring it something. I like to bring the ocean other pieces of nature – usually flowers. But the closest thing I had was a basil plant, so I picked a piece of basil

Ten years later

– if you are newer to me and aren’t familiar with this part of my journey, it might help to read last year’s post (click on this, it doesn’t look clickable but it is) before reading this. Today has been 10 years. I find myself, for the first time, not that interested in writing. Every year for ten years on this day I have made

Sad celebration of the life of my past self

A month and a half ago I went to the beach. I was in my new, bigger body, but I hadn’t fully inhabited her yet. I felt like I was letting go of the girl – really she was slowly being pulled away from me – but I wasn’t yet fully in my woman. I got on a call with Perri, crying, and she said