Sex

Creating safety during sex: The moment of Disconnect & the importance of the PAUSE

All too often, women ignore our own desires during sex because our desires feel un-explainable, too complicated, or not worth taking the time to figure out. Even if we don’t consciously believe it, we’ve often absorbed the narratives that our bodies are complex, annoying, and incorrect. Along with our conditioning around our bodies, we’ve often received societal conditioning to be accommodating and pleasing to others.

What the life of two sex & relationship coaches is really like under quarantine

Jordan and I started quarantining during the third week of March. The weekend before everyone started staying in their homes, we went out to dinner. “Right, we’re not supposed to do that,” the waiter said, winking, as he held out his hand to shake, and Jordan took it and I didn’t. Two days after that, it was like an entirely different world. My friends had

Pleasure is your birthright & this is why it matters

Your pleasure matters. Your pleasure has always mattered. Your sex life will never be at its peak. Your capacity for pleasure can always be bigger. And that is one of the biggest gifts of life. The pleasure of women has been demonized for centuries. That’s why it can feel scary to wear whatever you want, to call attention to yourself, to say no to a

What to do if sex with your ex was better than sex with your current partner

Are you spending a lot of time wistfully remembering that incredible sex you and your ex had? Are you feeling like no one is ever going to touch you that way again? Are you silently bemoaning the fact that your current partner is just not as good? One of the many negative side effects of women not being taught that our bodies belong to us,

It’s not your fault: how past sexual experiences limit your sex life today

When I was twenty, a boy came inside of me, without a condom on, without asking. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” he said casually, as he rolled over. I didn’t say a word. I’m sure I smiled nicely as I got up and went to the bathroom. I remember looking at clippings of his hair in the sink and how filthy the bathroom was. I

The same experiences you can have with psychedelics are possible through sex

There are many ways to access the same feelings, the same sensations and types of visions. Drugs, meditation, breathwork, sex. I have a distaste for relying on external sources to get to that place. If a trip is your first entry into that kind of experience, fine. But there is an Alan Watts quote that I really love: “When you get the message, hang up the

This is what self-pleasure can look like

When you touch yourself, set up the room. Light candles, put on music. Gather oil. Approach your body from a place of curiosity Make it sacred. Make it special. Remember how you learned to do this in a way that was fast, hidden, and unforgivable. Sinful. Remember how you learned your pleasure was a sin. Choose to undo it Breathe into your body. Breathe deeply,

51 real-life examples of how I set boundaries and ask for what I want during sex

When boundaries are spoken about in relation to sex, they’re usually only mentioned in terms of saying “yes” or “no” to being sexual as a whole. But what I’ve discovered is that the more I’ve become empowered around my own sexuality, the more I set boundaries in nuanced ways that I never would have imagined I could ask for before. The purpose of this post

How to stop thinking about your body during sex

If you can’t stop worrying about your body during sex, you’re not alone – most women I’ve spoken to on coaching calls are consumed with thoughts of “What does my body look like in this position? Does my face look awful when I come? Do I smell and taste bad down there?” It might be affecting you so badly that it causes you to not

Tell your partner when you self-pleasure. Not because he owns your body, but because you do

Tell your partner when you self-pleasure Not because he owns your body, but because you do.   Touch yourself slowly, deeply, lovingly Have long orgasms, and quick ones Spend hours, spend seconds Soak your sheets.   Say, I’m going to self pleasure in the other room, now Not because I don’t love you but because I love myself, and sometimes I want to remind myself