Self Love

Self-sacrifice is not love

I grew up with a model of love called “sacrifice yourself for somebody else.” Love meant abandoning one’s own needs in order to meet the perceived needs of others. But what this creates is the inability to love your own self deeply. And it’s actually not love. Love does not require abandoning what is true in order to make somebody feel better. The truth is

Hotel room transmission part 1: feeling the truth, body love, & full desire

I was supposed to arrive here last night. I had booked three nights. At a luxury hotel, quite close to my apartment in Vancouver. Jordan and I have been doing this during Covid to have space from one another. There is much to say about the benefits of solo hotel stays; I might make a video about that tomorrow. I was supposed to check in

The Fitness World is Built to Disconnect You From Your Body

One time, I worked for a few months at a gym. As a personal trainer. It is one of the very few times in my life where I’ve had a “boss.” My boss was a man named Cedric. Personal training was a sales position, and Cedric taught me how to sell. This meant that I had to walk up to people in the gym and

Your Ego Will Tell You That You Need to Have Goals

Your ego will tell you lots of enticing things.   It will tell you that you need to have goals. That once you hit that money milestone or get to that perfect weight or find the perfect husband – that then you will have made it. Then you will be happy. Then you will have what you want. Most people spend their entire lives chasing

When You Set Boundaries Other People Will Call You Selfish

I have been called Selfish more times than I can count. Self-centered. Unaccommodating. Uncompromising. A bitch. All words that people who do not have boundaries will throw at you when you set your own. They will say them because it will trigger the fuck out of the fact that they do not know what it means to set their own. I have set some of

A woman called me ugly and this is how I responded

Somebody wrote to Jordan last night to tell him that I was ugly and to ask why he kept posting about me. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ This woman has based her career on being a model (and is now a dating coach).⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I spent my entire teenage life thinking that my looks were the only source of my value. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I spent so much time

We crave the things that are bad for us

Every few months, my victimized inner teenager will win and I’ll have a pizza binge. Pizza makes my body very sick. I’ve been eating a specific diet this year. Not an overly-restricted, no-exceptions kind of diet – but more a “I have to admit that my body no longer tolerates certain foods” kind of diet. It is so closely related to the inner work I’ve

I used to think I hated cooking & it was too girly of an activity for me

I used to think I hated cooking. I thought I was bad at it. I thought that I was a feminist woman and cooking was below me. The first month I stayed with Jordan, I did not cook him one. Thing. And then… when we started to talk about living together… he was like, I can’t take care of every meal. So I had to

Shunning makeup is a sign of wounding with the masculine

Shunning makeup can be a big “fuck you” to the patriarchy And it is also a sign of wounding with the masculine. I clung to makeup throughout my entire teenage life. I had horrible acne. I refused to let anyone see me without full foundation ever. I touched it up throughout the day, during soccer practices. I took makeup with me into the shower at

The mature feminine can sit within discomfort

The immature feminine tears things down when they no longer feel true. She is a little bit afraid of destruction, but she will let it come through. She is fascinated by it. She rips everything to shreds when it no longer feels right. The immature feminine utilizes her power, but she often feels victimized by it. She absolves herself of responsibility, saying, “Me? I didn’t