Self Love

Making fun of each other is criticism, and criticism is not love

In my family, we showed our love for one another by making fun of one another. We bonded over making fun of one another. In fact, I learned that “being easy to make fun of” was one of my top-valued qualities. My family told me that my voice was too squeaky and annoying. That I was forgetful and irresponsible. That I was ditzy and “blonde.”
Posted July 2, 2020
8 mins read

You already deserve the things you want

You are worthy because you exist. You are worthy because you are. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the individualistic ideals of the Western world. On our meritocracy, which says that we can have anything we want, as long as we work hard enough for it, as long as we prove we deserve it. When we are raised in a particular framework, we view
Posted June 23, 2020
4 mins read

Why I put my naked body on the internet

Four years ago, I did my first-ever naked photo shoot. I was involved in circus arts at the time. The photos were stunning, but I didn’t post them anywhere (even censored versions). I didn’t want anyone to know I had done a nude shoot, and mostly, I thought people would think I was just looking for attention by putting them up on the Internet. It
Posted May 24, 2020
8 mins read

Pleasure is your birthright & this is why it matters

Your pleasure matters. Your pleasure has always mattered. Your sex life will never be at its peak. Your capacity for pleasure can always be bigger. And that is one of the biggest gifts of life. The pleasure of women has been demonized for centuries. That’s why it can feel scary to wear whatever you want, to call attention to yourself, to say no to a
Posted May 10, 2020
3 mins read

The ultimate guide to processing emotions in a healthy way

Have you ever felt so full of emotion that you didn’t know what to do, found yourself repeating the same emotional patterns over and over again, or been frustrated that analyzing your feelings didn’t work for you? If so, it’s not your fault. When most people talk about emotion, they miss the most important piece. And without addressing it, your emotions can never fully shift.
Posted May 3, 2020
31 mins read

Why having a funeral for yourself is the ritual you need in your life right now

Last summer, I sat next to a dumpster, a long black dress with slits up each leg falling around my thighs. I was burning 70 photos of myself, the air smelled like acid. Inside my apartment, there were 13 candles in a circle, surrounded by hundreds of rose petals in different colors. I was having a funeral for myself. (you might recognize this description from
Posted April 5, 2020
7 mins read

The same experiences you can have with psychedelics are possible through sex

There are many ways to access the same feelings, the same sensations and types of visions. Drugs, meditation, breathwork, sex. I have a distaste for relying on external sources to get to that place. If a trip is your first entry into that kind of experience, fine. But there is an Alan Watts quote that I really love: “When you get the message, hang up the
Posted March 27, 2020
8 mins read

This is what self-pleasure can look like

When you touch yourself, set up the room. Light candles, put on music. Gather oil. Approach your body from a place of curiosity Make it sacred. Make it special. Remember how you learned to do this in a way that was fast, hidden, and unforgivable. Sinful. Remember how you learned your pleasure was a sin. Choose to undo it Breathe into your body. Breathe deeply,
Posted March 11, 2020
4 mins read

How to stop thinking about your body during sex

If you can’t stop worrying about your body during sex, you’re not alone – most women I’ve spoken to on coaching calls are consumed with thoughts of “What does my body look like in this position? Does my face look awful when I come? Do I smell and taste bad down there?” It might be affecting you so badly that it causes you to not
Posted March 8, 2020
7 mins read

The way you have been taught to feel is wrong

Once, I was leading a group of women through an emotional expression practice. I demoed for them: screams and growls of anger, moans of sadness, dry heaves of disgust. When I told them it was their turn, many of the women participated, some a bit hesitantly – and two in particular did not participate at all. At the end of the practice, as we were
Posted March 6, 2020
6 mins read