Self Love

Some people are appalled I am not vaccinated

It has come to my attention that some people are appalled that I am not vaccinated.⁣ ⁣ This has seemed to be actually very few of my followers since I think most of you know me by now but in case this is you I want to be very clear.⁣ ⁣ I live my entire life based on my knowing in my body. ⁣ ⁣

I have often felt like I’ve had to apologize for the size that I am

I have often felt like I’ve had to apologize for the size that I am. ⁣ ⁣ For the way that my entrance into people’s lives seems to shake them up, show them things they would rather not have seen. ⁣ ⁣ I literally sometimes want to be like “I am sorry that you know me because you didn’t choose this” ⁣ Though I have

Healing my inner teenager & being hungry before bed

Last night Jordan and I stayed up talking for a few hours, lying in bed. It was close to midnight and right as we were ready to sleep I realized I was starving. When I was little, there were nights where I would lie in bed, not wanting to go to sleep because I was hungry. I would say “I’m hungry” and my mom would

Gaining weight: the first two months, going shopping

I have gained around 14 pounds in the last two months. It’s hard to say exactly; weighing myself wasn’t a big habit of mine. But my weight has hovered around 133 for the past 5 or 6 years (aside from a few months years ago where I was lifting a ton and it got up to 138 or so). And I think I last knew

Food & ice cream & weight gain & nourishment (the beginning)

I have been eating ice cream every day. This is a far cry from the woman I was last year, who thought sugar was dangerous and should be avoided at all costs. And it’s even farther from the 20-year-old who cut out food groups, did “cleanses” where she did not eat, was paranoid of eating basically anything, and desperately tried to “fix” her body. This

Here are some things you might not like about me

Here are some things you might not like about me: These are just some things I think you should know ahead of time. I eat meat. And use plastic and love Amazon and buy new clothes and I care about the earth a lot all at the same time. I talk to trees and plants and rocks and all of the earth. And they talk

Self-sacrifice is not love

I grew up with a model of love called “sacrifice yourself for somebody else.” Love meant abandoning one’s own needs in order to meet the perceived needs of others. But what this creates is the inability to love your own self deeply. And it’s actually not love. Love does not require abandoning what is true in order to make somebody feel better. The truth is

Hotel room transmission part 1: feeling the truth, body love, & full desire

I was supposed to arrive here last night. I had booked three nights. At a luxury hotel, quite close to my apartment in Vancouver. Jordan and I have been doing this during Covid to have space from one another. There is much to say about the benefits of solo hotel stays; I might make a video about that tomorrow. I was supposed to check in

The Fitness World is Built to Disconnect You From Your Body

One time, I worked for a few months at a gym. As a personal trainer. It is one of the very few times in my life where I’ve had a “boss.” My boss was a man named Cedric. Personal training was a sales position, and Cedric taught me how to sell. This meant that I had to walk up to people in the gym and

Your Ego Will Tell You That You Need to Have Goals

Your ego will tell you lots of enticing things.   It will tell you that you need to have goals. That once you hit that money milestone or get to that perfect weight or find the perfect husband – that then you will have made it. Then you will be happy. Then you will have what you want. Most people spend their entire lives chasing