Relationships

Healthy relationships & my relationship with my dad

I have always had really healthy relationships. I had three boyfriends from the ages of 20-26. All of these men really saw the innate essence of me and appreciated it to the extent that they could at the time. Really to the extent that I could allow myself to open and be seen by them, if I’m being really honest. They mirrored the amount that
Posted April 1, 2021
7 mins read

Self-sacrifice is not love

I grew up with a model of love called “sacrifice yourself for somebody else.” Love meant abandoning one’s own needs in order to meet the perceived needs of others. But what this creates is the inability to love your own self deeply. And it’s actually not love. Love does not require abandoning what is true in order to make somebody feel better. The truth is
Posted March 30, 2021
6 mins read

Your partner is not the one who needs to do their work

It is never your partner who just needs to do their work. It is a big red flag for me when I hear someone say, “My partner does xyz, and they just need to change.” The partner you attract is always a reflection of you. Something in you is always mirroring back this part of them. I can already hear people saying “but what about
Posted March 11, 2021
4 mins read

Leaning In While Fighting and the Urge to Run Away

Occasionally, when Jordan and I are fighting, I have the urge to go sleep on the living room floor. It always happens during a fight when my ego is especially wounded, where something he said touched something really deep And a part of me wants to win, to make him hurt too, to “show him,” and to sleep in the other room. Or if it
Posted March 1, 2021
3 mins read

Where It’s Really At For Me Are the Quiet Moments

People will try to sell you hot sex⁣ ⁣ And that’s great⁣ ⁣ But where it’s really at for me are the quiet moments. ⁣ ⁣ Where you are sitting in sweatpants and dirty hair and hot sauce all over your mouth and he says, “I love your body so much.”⁣ ⁣ Where you are cuddling up and going to sleep and caressing one another’s
Posted January 14, 2021
2 mins read

Going Through Death & Rebirth, Together

There have been many moments like this, the past few days. ⁣ ⁣ We are both moving through a lot. Jordan said this morning, it feels like we are going through a death and rebirth cycle together. ⁣ ⁣ It always panicked me with past partners, to go through such periods of growth – because it usually meant we were growing apart. But not this
Posted January 2, 2021
2 mins read

This Love is All I Want Forever

This love is all I want forever. ⁣ ⁣ This love where I can feel his sweetness and his softness⁣ Where he lays his head on my chest and I witness this part of him he does not show anywhere else⁣ ⁣ This love where he fully trusts my desire and my knowing⁣ ⁣ This love that is full of “you are so pretty” and
Posted December 27, 2020
2 mins read

Taking responsibility for your desire

A few weeks ago, I uncovered a pattern I had with Jordan. I would desire to have sex. But instead of naming my desire, I’d often just feel it inside my body and hope that he noticed. I’d think things to myself like, “I just want him to initiate more. To take control. I’ve been obvious enough, he probably doesn’t want to.” Sometimes I’d say
Posted December 19, 2020
4 mins read

What I want to remember: a prayer for masculine and feminine union

What I want to remember⁣ ⁣ More of my warrior is what is needed⁣ My scream, my strength, my not standing for anything less ⁣ Calling forth his highest version of himself⁣ ⁣ Offering him the earth as a gift. My sensuality, my dancing, purring, growling, stomping, moaning. ⁣ ⁣ My full, total, uninhibited expression. ⁣ ⁣ Soothing his system with that energy through my
Posted December 8, 2020
2 mins read

The eroticism of being seen

Being seen is deeply terrifying. ⁣ ⁣ And it’s also fucking hot. ⁣ ⁣ And what we sometimes miss in the desire to be seen is that the appeal of it actually comes from your willingness to feel all of the sensations. ⁣ ⁣ Terror included. ⁣ ⁣ We LOVE feeling terror. ⁣ ⁣ There is something so tingly, so exciting, so ALIVE about letting
Posted December 4, 2020
2 mins read