Boundaries

Saying “I don’t know” is a female response to a patriarchal culture

Women say “I don’t know” because we were taught that our own knowing was not allowed. That our own knowing was not enough. We say “I don’t know” because we’ve been so conditioned out of what we truly, deeply desire that we often can’t even access what that is anymore. It becomes impossible to distinguish what we want to say from all the immediate thoughts

Creating safety during sex: The moment of Disconnect & the importance of the PAUSE

All too often, women ignore our own desires during sex because our desires feel un-explainable, too complicated, or not worth taking the time to figure out. Even if we don’t consciously believe it, we’ve often absorbed the narratives that our bodies are complex, annoying, and incorrect. Along with our conditioning around our bodies, we’ve often received societal conditioning to be accommodating and pleasing to others.

This is how to feel safe embodying your feminine energy

In today’s society, particularly with the (much-needed) rise of feminism, most women are taught the narrative that we can do everything men can do – plus backwards, bleeding, and in high heels. And yet… there are many women waking up to the fact that, while it’s necessary to have equal rights and equal opportunities to men… inhabiting our masculine energy most of the time is

7 things to do if you need space from your partner during quarantine

Space is a non-negotiable, essential need for me. I came across an article recently about how distance is the little-known sixth love language; it resonated with me. Jordan will typically leave our apartment for 5-10 hours during the day, as many times a month as needed, whenever I feel cagey. When we made our love lists, filled with ways to love one another better, giving

51 real-life examples of how I set boundaries and ask for what I want during sex

When boundaries are spoken about in relation to sex, they’re usually only mentioned in terms of saying “yes” or “no” to being sexual as a whole. But what I’ve discovered is that the more I’ve become empowered around my own sexuality, the more I set boundaries in nuanced ways that I never would have imagined I could ask for before. The purpose of this post

You are not broken.

You are not broken. Look at the world around you: the dead plants, the cold evenings, the buds just beginning to rise through the frost. The moon, half empty. So. many. people. Endless people, people in their homes with their families and their cookware and their pets and their items that hold memories. I had an appointment today, an appointment at the doctor’s because my

8 ways to fight better with your partner

I often hear this narrative – even from other relationship coaches – that it’s “normal” to fight with our partners in a way where we feel resentful, notice everything that’s wrong with them, and yell at one another. I feel annoyed by this, because while this might be typical, it’s not useful, and it’s not necessary. Having someone yell at you means their anger is

This one thing is holding you back from feeling free to be who you are

If you do not know deeply, unshakably, that your body belongs to you, you will struggle. If you are not FOR yourself. If you are not in alignment with what your body wants first and foremost. Then you cannot have the life you really want. You will be forever burdened with thoughts of “if only” and “what if.” You will be anxious and unsettled and

There is wisdom in your anger – this is how you process it

There is wisdom in your anger. We get taught not to acknowledge anger, not to express it. We grow up hearing, “Don’t get angry, it’s unattractive. Be nice, be quiet, be accommodating. Calm down, you’re overreacting.” We hear about “anger management.” We learn that anger is a thing to be controlled, softened, dissipated. And then on top of that, many mindfulness communities teach that feeling